I believed that he was dead. Beleived it with everything that I had. Believed that I would never see him again. Hear
his voice. Argue with him. Be thrown against a wall by him
And yet there he was, holding me by my throat!
I must be losing my mind.
DAMN HIM! How dare he show up like nothing had ever happened! I went from knowing that he was gone forever, unable to
get him back if I even dared, to staring at a familliar love in a foriegn face.
I never thought for a second that I would have the chance to face what I had done. I know that I made mistakes. I know
that I cannot be forgiven. Im not even sure if I want to be. And now...Now I have to look him in the eyes and decide what
to do.
He called me weak. He is right. Never before in my life have I been so helpless... these emotions have taken over my
mind. I have never had to think about my actions. Never felt remorse. Never cared about anyone but myself untill now.
I hate it.
I tried to embrase it by not drinking..and look where it got me. Curled into a ball on the floor like a FUCKING child!
I will not let this weakness control me any longer...
I have spent so much of my time regretting the past..and now it is looking me in the face again,
laughing at me!
